Well, as mentioned in my last post, which was over a month ago, meeting with my advisor is like being abducted by aliens. My ass is still sore and the quarter has been over for a week, but I did manage to pass everything and get all my papers done and turned in on time and take my exams. I still haven't decided which was more painful - the cold translation of an Egyptian funerary stela while dealing with intestinal trouble or the Mesopotamian history final while dealing with my total lack of time to study and my total apathy concerning Mesopotamia from the 1st millenium BC onward.
Anyway, Fenway arrived on the evening of Friday, December 12th with a Penske truck full of his stuff and my bedroom furniture that had been at my parents' home until they moved to California last May. With the help of one of my kind fellow graduate students, we got everthing up to the apartment in just a few hours and arranged the furniture the next day. Sunday morning we shoved Oreo into his soft-sided carrier and headed off to Midway to fly out to California to see my parents, as we saw them only briefly during the wedding in June. They're living in Clovis, just outside Fresno, but we flew into San Jose, thus avoiding the horror that is LA. The three hour drive home was lovely - beautiful rolling hills still tinged green and then down into the San Joaquin Valley and all those lovely fruit orchards - we'll have to go out in the spring when everthing is in bloom, even if it will mean taking massive quantities of antihistamines. The Sierras are just visible in the distance from Clovis and while it's not quite the same the view from Washoe Valley, it was still pretty. Spent a week relaxing, doing some shopping and trying to keep Oreo and Oliver (Mom and Dad's schnauzer) from killing each other. I'm afraid there are no pictures to share as Tom and I rarely remember a camera, or, if the camera is remembered, the process of photography is usually forgotten - the wedding and honeymoon photos were sheer luck, really.
I read My Name Escapes Me by Sir Alec Guiness during my brief respite from school and loved it - it's a collection of his diary entries spanning about a year and a half from January 1995 to mid-1996. Other than that, it's difficult to describe other than to say it was charming.
We returned to Chicago this evening, having taken off from San Jose just after the earthquake hit near San Simeon (sp?) a.k.a. Hearst Castle. I actually felt the earthquake in the terminal, but thought it was just a dizzy spell from sleep deprivation and the cigarette I had just smoked until we heard the news.
Fenway and I will be spending Christmas here in Chicago, just the two of us, and then weather permitting, will head down to Mississippi on the 26th or 27th for a few days. I'm afraid my visit has to be cut short so I can work on my thesis (I have given up on the euphemism "Two-Year Paper") with my advisor (alien abductor) before he goes into the field (Mars) to look for more scraps of the Ahmose temple complex (cattle to probe anally). On the last day of the quarter, he was kind enough to dump on me some of the field notes I needed which are either beautifully detailed with excellent plans and sections or painfully lacking of any useful information with plans and sections that look like they were drawn by a 3 year old using his butt-cheeks to hold the pencil. Oddly enough, the notes are all by the same person. Yet another person to add to my list "Do Not Meet These People with Witnesses Present" (because it's harder to kill them that way, or at least kick them in the shins and run away).

Before I begin the rant about the past 2 weeks, I need to preface the post with the following, hoping it will give some of you a laugh, even if you don't read the rest of this:

I decided this yesterday as I walked home after a meeting with my advisor:
Meeting with my advisor is like being abducted by aliens. A whole lot of interesting stuff goes on, most of which you can't remember when you leave, but you're pretty sure that at some point you took it in the ass.


Well, I've had a horrific few weeks. As I predicted in my last post, my advisor did try to tell me that I had to write my thesis by the end of this Quarter, only he did it in such a way that I didn't realize what he'd said until I left his office. So I freaked out - I'm not the only one, most of the 2nd Year students were on the verge of a nervous breakdown. We had no idea what was going on, what the paper was supposed to be, what we were expected to do or not do, etc. Anyway, after several meetings with various people we found out the following:
1. Hell no, none of us don't have to write our whole 2-year paper by the end of this Quarter
2. The nitwit who organized the required (but no course credit) Seminar was way out of line in telling us that the paper was due at the end of the Winter Quarter, although we could turn it in later, but if we did, we would surely not receive any funding, because NELC regulations state it's due the 2nd week of Spring Quarter and by the end of the Winter Quarter, the readers for the papers should have a clear idea whether your paper sucks or not and will be able to pass that information on to the funding committee.
3. This years 2nd years (i.e. me) are having the toughest time in recent memory according to many older faculty members, and that sucks. But we still have to grin and bear it.
4. The OI will arrange a courier service for those of us who need to get drafts of papers to my advisor while he's in the field.

So that's something. I'm still confused and over-worked, but my advisor, in addition to being in league with aliens, has also made it clear that he wants me to stay here, so unless I really fuck up I should be okay.

Well, no posts recently because I've been slammed - still am really, but I have a few spare moments at work so...
I've been spending at least 20 hours a week translating Middle Egyptian texts (specifically private inscriptions from or set up in front of tombs) which is a lot of fun, but leaves me little time for other work. Doing a massive quantity of reading for my other courses. Had to teach a course on the Badarian culture in Predynastic Egypt - ooh, that was fun, talking for an hour and half after having spent several days plowing through site reports from between around 1910 and 1940 that were written sometimes well but usually really badly. My favorite quote from the chief excavator: "Obviously, the Badarians were sufficiently civilised to have carried hankerchiefs." Gotta love that British colonial style. Also, I'm formulating a theory (granted,it's based on anecdotal evidence) that all the really cool sites in north Africa and the Middle East are in or near villages with really nasty dogs. And I was reduced to utter speechlessness at the, um, shall we say obtuseness of a certain person who should know better regarding modern archaeological excavation techniques in stratified locales (or rather, who should really consider the whole "pot calling the kettle black" thing... or the whole "don't talk about stuff you obviously do not understand thing"). But I digress. I've started doing translations with one of the 1st years who has a background in Middle Egyptian and so is in the advanced course and we've decided that we need to have a "gutter vernacular" translation day: i.e. "Yo, I shall build your wicked cool temple..." and "I put the god's bling-bling on him"
I continue to work 15 hours a week in the Museum Office, dealing quite often with people who a) don't understand why we don't know by heart all of the thousands of images that are on our website and/or in our publications and/or just in the archives and cannot identify them via descriptions such as "you know, that Egyptian guy, the one with the spear" b) keep asking when the "Iraq exhibit" - (i.e. the newly reinstalled Mesopotamian gallery) closes, thinking it's a temporary exhibit - after 3 days of constant phone calls regarding this, it almost would have been worth getting fired to be way too literal and tell them that it closed at 4 that afternoon, i.e. when the Museum closes for the day ("What! Oh shit! It's 3:45!") c) want me to do their research papers for them by sending cleverly worded emails such as "Please tell me everything you know about Mesopotamian texts." or "What do you know about the pyramids?" and; d) are just plain stupid. Fortunately, I get paid quite well.
Now I have found out that my advisor and the primary reader for my 2-Year paper which is due at the end of March is going to dig in Egypt from the beginning of January until the end of March. Ummm, shit. This is a problem. No email, no fax, no FedEx... My other reader, cool though he is, does not know Predynastic Egypt, and so will be able only to tell me things like "Gee, it looks good to me, but what the hell do I know?" And the prevailing view among the Egyptologists (to be distinguished, at least around here, from us archaeologists) is that anything before writing - namely, most of the Predynastic, is not really worth their time. I'm waiting for my advisor to inform me that I need to go ahead and write the entire paper before January 1 - I've been practicing flipping him off with both hands in preparation for this announcement. If he catches me on a really good day, I may provide some seriously entertaining dialogue for anyone on the second floor who isn't deaf or unconscious. (And possible the 3rd and 1st floors as well, if I'm pissed enough.)

I hate pseudoscientists. I wish the "Face on Mars" people would learn to do a bit of research before making sweeping claims. Beginning a few weeks ago I began a dialogue with a young self-proclaimed expert on "Transcelestial Ontology, Posthumanism and Theoretical Ufology" in which he requested permission to use a copyrighted image posted on the Oriental Institute website in an upcoming book. He provided a web address. With a little bit of digging, I discovered that he was violating our copyright by using the image on his websitewithout permission. Further, the ignorant "expert" was first presenting it as a possible corrolary to some formations on Mars. Later in his journal on Mars, he says that it's artificial and must have been sculpted (see his 12/11/01 entry on the page given above).
Why yes, it is artificial. It's a tepe - which is Farsi or Persian (I can't remember which) for tell which is Arabic for: an artificial mound formed as the result of thousands of years of human occupation building up over time as buildings were destroyed and new ones built atop them. It was not "sculpted" deliberately. I negleted to inform him of this fact, however, and am still reluctant to do so for fear of opening a new proverbial can of worms for the Face on Mars researchers - specifically that the "formations" they keep finding while staring for long hours at fuzzy photographs are tepes/tells on Mars which proves that Mars was occupied by sentient beings. I don't want that on my conscience.
In any case, I was instructed to inform him that he was in violation of our copyright and had to either remove the image from his site or pay for use of it. I might add that the OI is a non-profit institution, the money we make on photo orders and permissions covers operating costs and is quite reasonable in comparison to similar institutions. Most of the photographs were taken as part of OI expeditions, all of them have negatives stored in climate controlled conditions on site, they have been catalogued, and prints are made from the negatives when needed - all of these things cost money.
His response was rather snippety - he agreed to take the picture down as he didn't wish to pay for it and was of the opinion that we were stupid not to avail ourselves of free advertising.
This evening, I checked the site to see if the picture had been removed. It has not been. I also discovered that seems to be ANOTHER of our images posted illegally.

I also found the following post on his blog
**********************************************************************************************
Friday, October 03, 2003

I started James Blish's "A Case of Conscience" today . . . and not much else. I was going to see Al Franken this evening, but a petulant student assistant at the University of Chicago's Oriental Institute drove me to distraction by stating that I owed the Institute a cool $40 for an archaeological image I have posted on page 25 of my Mars site. Give me a goddamned break. I'm making absolutely no money from the image; moreover, I've linked to the Institute's source pages. This practice is commonly known as free advertising. Yet they're troubled because of some pre-Internet fine print.

My editor is requesting permission to use the image in my book and I get chills thinking what absurd price he'll be quoted. I personally think we've lavished quite enough time on securing permission for various images as it is. The U. of Chicago can stick it up its bureaucratic ass. Let's get the book on the shelves, already.
posted by Mac at 10/3/2003 12:01:26 AM

***********************************************************************************************
I've been called many things, but never "petulant" - right now, I think righteously angry would be a better description. And I am so sorry I kept him from seeing Al Franken. He kept me from playing with Oreo, translating Middle Egyptian, reading about early Mesopotamian history, and reading abut the Egyptian Predynastic, since I had to stay late to finish working on his order. Oh, and the price he was quoted for use on the web page was a one time fee of $40.00, the same as for commercial print use - if he'd bothered to read the attachement I sent him TWICE that outlined fees and procedures, he'd know that. Hardly absurd. He should try contacting the Louvre for images. Now that's some fun and expense. And I do wonder how he would feel if someone started circulating free photocopies of his book, thus preventing him from collecting royalties? Then again, that would presuppose that a sufficient number of people wish to read such drivel to provide him with a decent income. I'm almost tempted to follow in the footsteps of my doppleganger to acquire a copy of the book when it comes out and burn it.

So, a week of classes has passed an I am:
1. already way behind
2. have already slept through a day's worth of class (oops)
3. waiting for an outright revolt in our required 2-Year Seminar
4. no longer in my "happy class" that I was auditing, as my advisor ordered me to drop it so I wouldn't "jump of a building or something"

In addition to all of the above, a movie is being filmed on campus. If I had more free time, I'd go looking for Anthony Hopkins and be silly and get his autograph, or dress up to go be an extra on Wednesday, but, well, I have no time. The funny thing being that the "Winona Ryder Effect" has picked up on campus (at least, I think that's why people keep giving me double takes) even though, so far as I know, she is not in the film. Well, when it comes out, keep your eyes peeled for my hunched-over form, frantically smoking a cigarette and running across the quad.
We have another Nobel laureate running around campus now - they're worse than the damned pidgeons.
And there is an ongoing garbage strike making life mildly unpleasant - at least if you need to go into the alley for anything.
Oh, and the world is coming to an end: the Cubs are winning!

Since discussion of media bias, etc., etc. has been done to death on the forums, I'm posting my rant here.

This week, the Oriental Institute has been priviledged (and I'm not being sarcastic) to host a visit by Donny George Youkhanna
(General Director for Research with the Iraq State Board of Antiquities, Baghdad) who is a very gracious and wonderful man. At a graduate student lunch Thursday, he and McGuire Gibson, our resident Mesopotamian archaeologist, along with some of the other faculty got onto the topic of media coverage of the looting of the main Iraqi Museum in Baghdad. What I found out was absolutely disgusting.
I am not sure how many of you followed the news coverage of the looting, but to summarize, first the media was screaming bloody murder along with all the rest of us about the immense quantities of materials looted or destroyed. A few weeks later, they were informing the public that hardly anything had been taken at all and that all of the so-called experts were liberal anti-war alarmists who hadn't the faintest idea what they were talking about and then the subject was relegated to the briefest of appearances on news tickers.
As it turns out, the media statement that hardly anything was taken comes from a conveniently edited interview with Donny George himself in which he stated (forgive me, but I can't quote exactly) something to the effect of: "Around 41 objects were taken from the galleries [of the Iraqi Museum, Baghdad]..." The sound byte was cut off there. What Donny George went on to say, however, was something to the effect of: "... many, many more objects, the number of which we are currently trying to establish, were taken from storage vaults in the Museum."
Bastards. What the media has also failed to point out is that the Iraqi Museum in Baghdad is only one of many Iraqi museums which house antiquities along with other objects of cultural value. There are several regional museums.
In addition, Nightline also apparently had fun with editing and spliced together several different interviews with McGuire Gibson to make him look like a completly moronic alarmist who claimed that "170,000 objects were stolen in the looting" when in fact it was only 41. Mac can't remember the exact context in which he said 170,000 objects, but he thinks it may have been a reference to his estimate of the contents of the vaults at the Iraqi Museum.
Rat fuckers.
Neither man is intending any lawsuits, etc - why bother? Besides, Donny George had enough trouble getting a visa this time around, God knows what will happen next time he wants to visit the US.

I received the following email at work today. Make of it what you will - it just made me laugh...
If you feel the need to contact him, I suggest that you tell him that your spy satellites are better than his, and that's how you knew how to get in touch with him...   

Dr. Granville Earl Love ll
>                                       The good side of Geo. Magisterial
>
>Granville Earl Lovell
>Sept. 30, 2003
>P.O. Box 397
>Zion Il, 60099
>847-274-5954
>
> GeoBible@msn.com
>       GeoBible@yahoo.com       I am
>going to the Media or News papers today. This is your last chance to
>get the scoop but, I am sure you are too late . I have E-mailed over
>three thousand hours to all of you and you have ignored my emails
>about the biggest story the world could ever hear.
>
>I seem to have discovered the key to all things that exist, there is
>not a day that goes by that I do not discover even more things that
>the world does not know. I know this sounds like quite a large
>statement but, you have not heard nothing yet.
>My discoveries that others do not know include most everything that exist.
>Human /Animal body from bone to brain to skin, Plant life, Elements,
>Soil, Rocks, Meteorites, Creation, History of Earth, Mysteries of
>the Earth, Bible, Egypt, Pyramids as well as explaining them.
>I not only can explain them I have truck loads of proof which I will
>be taking today to launch this good news. I may not share this news
>with but one news group? because no one has bothered to look into
>the biggest news ever.
>I also do Satellite imaging better than anyone on Earth, even the
>military, They should have looked into my claims. I can tell you
>about all ancient life on Earth as well as about life on other
>planets. You will be able to see for yourself, You will
>not need degrees in anything to see that what I have is very real.
>I also have ancient stone models of flying vehicles and much other
>things. I have so much information that it will change all the
>world, and move our knowledge light years ahead.
>I have been reluctant as to who should know first, or should I have
>auctions for some of the Art or Stone figures and or knowledge I
>have, Or should I write about something the world should know about
>right now. I know Many, Many, Many, Many, Too Many, things the world
>needs to know now.
>Right now I am involved in re mapping the Earth and oceans like you
>would not believe, with better information. Would the world like to
>know more about earthquakes? Volcanoes, all the elements ? I can
>produce proof about the workings of the Earth and more.  NASA is
>another that does not return my emails, I can prove to them that I
>know things they should know about Mars, Moon, Sun, and all the
>Universe and space travel.
>Sure this sounds crazy but! it is very true!.
>I do not know any other way to tell you and get your attention. I
>have nothing to gain by making false claims, or wasting your time. I
>do not expect to get any publicity unless I can prove with very
>little effort that what I have is real. You will not have to get any
>professionals to look at a model of a vehicle in rocks or stone that
>have great detail to prove to you that you are right, I am sure you
>will see that it is very true. I have not carved it into the stone
>as you will see. I also have art that should be priceless to any
>collector.
>Another thing, This system of things we call Earth and all in and
>around it has a way that it has been recording pictures and events
>since the beginning of time, I have been able to retrieve many of
>these as you will see. I have a way of revealing Very nice pictures
>or people places and events since the beginning of time. I never
>have enough time to stay with one discovery because there are too
>many, I can't wait to see what is next.  I am working on a device to
>retrieve the photos without so much work as well as many other
>experiments, and never enough time, I sure could use some help with
>these discoveries. All the world should be involved . You may think
>these are a lot of claims but! there is much more.
>By the way, I think I can locate someone that has been buried in a
>field or woods etc, I am not sure if I could locate someone that was
>just buried? or how long they would have to be in the ground for me
>to find them. I could prove this very easy if you have known photos
>of areas where searches were done before digging to see if I can
>show you. I am sure I can locate treasures, objects  all over the
>Earth as well. I have some locations I want to look into soon. I can
>tell you much more about all ancient ruins than anyone on Earth.
>Egypt is a great starting point, I can prove with out a doubt that I
>can explain Most or all things in Egypt. People only think they know
>about Egypt and the pyramids, They are so very wrong.
>There is so much also about the Bible I can prove right before
>everyone's eyes. NO ONE will be able to make an argument that I am
>wrong. They will be very anxious to get to the research as well. I
>would think I have enough on going to keep a Television show going
>all the time showing new discoveries. It is so amazing.
>Please I an not boasting just trying to get through to you but! I am
>sure you are too late for the scoop.
>I am sending this letter to many others as well.
>Thanks.
>
>Granville Earl Lovell
>GeoBible@msn.com
>cell ph. 847-274-5954
>

Well, I am now officially through 3 days of classes. I believe that I can schedule in time for a full night's sleep sometime in the middle of October and then not again until the term ends. Our history of the Ancient Near East professor has a patch over one eye - that took major amounts of self-control in class. ("Arr, me mateys, we'll be discussin' Mesopotamia, the cursed scurvy curs this quarter...) Someone wants to get him a stuffed parrot for Christmas. Apparently, he hasn't caught on to the concept of a 10 week quarter yet either - our reading list is hellacious. And while much of it is on e-reserve, whoever scanned the pages was on some seriously bad crack so lines are missing their ends, pages are cut off so the first or last few lines of text are gone. Add to that the reading list for my Predynastic class which is only slightly less hellacious. I also have a page and half of translating to do for each Middle Egyptian class (that's more than it sounds like, trust me...). And our freakin' required seminar is insane - we don't get a real grade (Pass/Fail) but we have a massive amount of reading to do along with getting our 2 Year Papers ready. We have to turn in our introduction at the end of this quarter and the next 2 sections over the course of the next quarter. This will encourage me to actually get it done, but man... Add to that the fact that the departmental rules have changed and our paper is due at the end of the Winter Quarter instead of 2 weeks into the Spring Quarter. Arghh!!!! At least I can enjoy my break. I am also auditing a class that will be ever so interesting, but also requires massive amounts of reading. Oh, and I need to study German so I can pass the damned reading exam. And work 15 hours a week. No sleep for me! Oreo is already starting the "If I drop my tennis ball directly onto your pile of books and papers while you translate, you'll play with me" strategy combined with the "If I go to sleep directly on top or your pile of books and papers while you translate, you'll pet me, or at least yell at me, and that's sort of like talking" strategy.
I've also decided that in the near future I need to write a paper, hopefully co-authored by Tom, entitled "Why the Fuck Did So Many People Think It Was a Good Idea to Bury Infants in Pots under Their Houses?"
I had a brief moment of panic on Monday afternoon when I discovered I had been shorted my $1000 stipend by the Bursar's Office. It turns out that we get stipend checks from our Dean - how I was supposed to know that is beyond me.
So that's my news. If I had time, I would count my existing gray hairs to see how many more appear by the end of this school year. We'll see.

I have officially returned to Chicago, at the last minute, as usual, since classes begin tomorrow. Specifically, tomorrow at 8:30 AM, which, as you all know, is far, far too early for this little ferret, especially for this little ferret to be translating Middle Egyptian. (*Bouncy, bouncy, bouncy* "Professor aren't we ever going to read anything about a ferret, huh huh huh?????" Yep, there's a way to get excused from class....) Also tomorrow I will do battle with everyone else needing a refund check from the Bursar and everyone needing books for courses that somehow never seem to have book orders placed on time/at all. The rampant ferrret shall be victorious! Or I will dance on their pitiful heads! (Has everyone picked up on the sleep deprivation yet? That's a damn long drive from StarkVegas.)
I have also come to the conclusion that despite my lack of a life insurance policy, I'm worth more dead than alive - perhaps I should start a PayPal account for donations - "Adopt a Pet Archaeologist: I'll babble endlessly about small bits of ancient garbage and dance gleefully at the sight of ruins. Only $9.95/month. (Bull whip and fedora package an additional $5.95.)"
Oh, wait a second - I own my car now. Wait, no...loans. Yep, Tom should kill me and have done with it, it would be cheaper in the long run, even with the legal fees and prison term. Oh well - at least, so far as I know, the Federal Government hasn't been repossessing brains from people who default on their educational loans. Or have they.............

I saw the headline "Arkansas to grade kids on obesity" on the news today, and all I could think was: "At least they'll pass something..."

In other news, I received a somewhat depressing email at work today. A college student emailed the museum to ask for permission to use an article on our website in a paper she is writing for her World History course. I had to find a tactful way to tell her that she was welcome to use any published work in her paper, so long as she cites it correctly, thus avoiding plagiarism, and that requesting permission was not necessary. She even has to turn in said article as a source. I have a sinking sensation that some professor, somewhere (she sent the email from her parents' personal account, so I can't figure out where) is going to receive a stack of books, photocopies, and print-outs in response to his request that his/her students turn in their citations. What are they teaching kids in high school now? Could you imagine trying to track down every author or publisher for every source you ever cited in a paper to ask if it was okay that you cited them? Using images copyrighted to them or another source or extensively quoting them is one thing, but this is ridiculous.
I suppose I should be grateful that if she thought she needed permission, she went to the trouble of asking for it. But I doubt I'll be so charitable if I receive a reply tomorrow asking why I spelled "site" wrong so many times in my reply...

You are The Cap'n!

Some men are born great, some achieve greatness and some slit the throats of any man that stands between them and the mantle of power. You never met a man you couldn't eviscerate. Not that mindless violence is the only avenue open to you - but why take an avenue when you have complete freeway access? You are the definitive Man of Action. You are James Bond in a blousy shirt and drawstring-fly pants. Your swash was buckled long ago and you have never been so sure of anything in your life as in your ability to bend everyone to your will. You will call anyone out and cut off their head if they show any sign of taking you on or backing down. You cannot be saddled with tedious underlings, but if one of your lieutenants shows an overly developed sense of ambition he may find more suitable accommodations in Davy Jones' locker. That is, of course, IF you notice him. You tend to be self absorbed - a weakness that may keep you from seeing enemies where they are and imagining them where they are not.

What's Yer Inner Pirate?
brought to you by The Official Talk Like A Pirate Web Site. Arrrrr!

Hmmm, a "Man of Action" - looks like I've been masculated again...
On another note, I should be in town to celebrate Talk Like a Pirate Day - I'll be leaving late Thursday or early Friday to grace you all with my chummy presence.
"Arrrr, I'll be needing some Snickers to go with me petrol, you scurvy cur!"

*After a guest appearance by Hare's Girl, you will now be returned to your regularly scheduled ranting...*
Walked on to campus today - I had a good reason to not ride my bike when I left the apartment which escapes me now. And for some reason, random people feel the need to talk to me on the street, despite my fast pace, obvious headphones, and sunglasses. Today it was "are you going to school?" To which I responded "Yes." To which I got the reply, shouted after me, as I was still walking: "Why the hell are you going to school at this hour?" (It was around 3 PM) *sigh* I restrained the urge to turn and say "because I don't feel like sharing your street corner with you in a few months!" It's still unseasonably hot and humid for Chicago - joy. Presented various required documents to the Student Loan Administration which will, I'm sure, find their way to being lost. Then wandered over the library to fetch various things needed for my euphemistically labeled "2 Year Paper" and caught one of the student workers who was supposed to be shelving books camped out on the floor in the stacks. Hee hee! And then proceeded to accidentally (really, it wasn't on purpose) get in her way while I was trying to get the stuff I needed, which was cleverly hidden by some idiot who couldn't be troubled to shift books to the side to fit things back on the shelves and instead just crammed them back as far as they would go on the shelf, requiring much manuevering and quiet swearing (it is a library) to get them out. Scurried all over the place finding what I needed. Tried not to destroy a very annoying copy machine while making copies of an article in German with lots of figures that I desperately need to be clear so I can identify some pottery, that simply couldn't have been sized conveniently for copying. On that note, all of you who plan on publishing in the future: please, please, please try if possible to make sure that your publications appear in a manner that makes them easy to photocopy. Better yet, publish electronically. I hate wasting money fiddling with the sizing on a copy machine that seems hell bent on taking all my money and giving me only partial pages, no matter what I do to it.
Back to work tomorrow...

Mmmm, think I need a new seat for my bike. Certain "areas" are kinda sore today...
In other news, thanks go out to Don and Fesh for making sure that Tom wasn't dead or something last night after he fell asleep, left his phone in the truck, and thus forgot to call me back and was unreachable for a few hours while I was envisioning all sorts of unpleasant happenings. So, thanks, guys for returning the bejesus to me.
Carriage room door still isn't fixed - somehow I'm not surprised. I think I'll give it another week and then maybe take a trip to the housing office...again. Because this really sucks and I'm just waiting to get bitched at for taking my bike through the lobby and scratching up the doorjambs as I try to hold the door, manuever the bike, and keep my backpack out of the way all at the same time. And what will my response be, you ask: "Fix the damn door you lazy bastard! And while you're at it, sweep the back stairs before the dust bunnies start attacking my dog. And re-hang the bulletin board in the laundry room. And fix the light in the hallway. And put a chain of decent length on the lightbulb in the cargo elevator so hopping up and down in the damn rickety-ass thing isn't necessary to be sure that the bulb is indeed dead. And put some freakin' WD-40 on the doors around here." I mean, the man gets an apartment (for free or reduced rent) in exchange for maintaining the building - is it so much to ask that he actually do his damn job? I still can't believe the manager at housing told me that many people in the building look on him as a "father-figure" - a drunken abusive father maybe... Ahh, well.

Wee-hoo! The streets are no longer safe. I am now the proud owner of a fairly old (and that is a reasonable chronological assessment, as I am an archaeologist) slightly rusty Sears women's bike. Wicked old school style! Twenty-five bucks! The only problem being that while you never forget how to ride a bike, you can get really bad at it as I discovered on the way back to my apartment. (Wobble, wobble, wobble...shit!) The other problem being that the lock on the exterior door to the carriage room is broken, which means walking my bike through the first door into the ante-room to the lobby, then through the locked door into the lobby, and then through the locked exterior door into the carriage room (and back again to get out). God knows how long it's been that way or how long it will stay that way. There is a sign on the door inside the carriage room. How thoughtful. Tomorrow, I get to practice riding again, hopefully I won't show up to work dripping blood all over the place. Hee hee!

Oooh, boring post! Went to work. Still no photos. People want to kill me. Too bad. Got my new Citibank cards with my new name on them. Yay! Sittin' here drinking me a Mother Fuckin' Grape Soda Okay, so it actually says "M.F. Grape Soda" but what do you think M.F. stands for?

Well, I am officially gainfully employed for the rest of the summer, despite problems with work-study. Yay! Finished my quota for the week yesterday, so I'm off until Tuesday. Yay! However, today was migraine day. Not-yay! And yesterday was Disaster Day for Chicago: 2 terrible wrecks and a shooting in a factory. Bad even for here. Shooting Crash 1 Crash 2

I've just looked at my account status for U of C - mostly to be sure that my name change went through without something strange happening - like me suddenly being masculated (I have problems with that, if only I could actually pee standing up when it happens...) or something. Anyway, the university has finally entered the 20th Century (yes, I know, we're in the 21st) and put our bills online. Bills for the fall quarter were mailed out today. They are due on 19 Sept. I don't owe them anything, they owe me a refund. Here is my conundrum: I would be expected to pay them on or before 19 September if I owed them money, yet I am expected to wait until at least 29 September to get my damn refund check (and I will be fortunate beyond belief if I can get it then). If I didn't think it would result in my records suddenly showing that I had been eaten by a yak in Inner Mongolia and am therefore no longer eligible for financial aid, I would walk in and say:

"Give me my stipend, you bitches. It's my stipend. I earned it. See this gray hair? See it? I'm 23 damn it! Give it, give it now!!!!!!!!"

But we all know, that will only lead to erroneous reports of rampaging yaks in Mongolia.

HOLY SHIZNIT!
So, I went back to work today. When I left in the middle of June there were approximately 30 photo orders waiting to be filled - i.e. prints needed to be made from negatives on file to send these unhappy people photos they'd been waiting to publish, etc. for quite a while (several months in some cases). I return to find the original 30 orders still waiting and at least 30 more added to the pile. Yes, there was someone handling my job while I was gone and yes, she is competent. It's just that we have one photographer for the entire OI, she only works part-time, and in-house requests get first priority. And she apparently goes on vacation every month or so - and no, she's not a student.
As if that wasn't enough fun, my work-study paperwork for the summer was waiting for me in my office. When I left work at 3:30, I went to the work-study office to turn in the paperwork to be informed that work-study jobs are supposed to end on August 30 - this Saturday. They will not resume until September 29. I have no money. Oh god, oh god, oh god! So, I run back across campus to the OI looking for the financial officer, who is in a meeting. Then I run into my boss and explain the problem (quite calmly considering that I really, really have no money!) We go tripping off to find some of the other work-study students in the building and find out that for the month that we don't get paid through work-study, the OI picks up the tab. Or something like that. So, though I won't know for sure until tomorrow, I'm still gainfully employed, though I won't get paid until the 5th of September. But rent and parking and a few other bills are due on the 1st. Shiznit, I say. Shiznit!

Ok, so I decided to move the blog to my U of C account, which was most entertaining, because it wouldn't take it. After much despair on the phone with Tom, I discovered Don was online and begged for assistance. Don logged in and apparently changed nothing, yet it worked for him. Apparently, my logging in and out of Blogger was enough to fix everything. How aggravating. At least it's fixed...

this is another test, to be sure that Don doesn't just have weird mojo

This is a test. Don.

So, lot's of other people have one, so I thought I'd make a blog too. Because I'm lazy and inept, it's being hosted by Blogger, with ads. So sorry. Today was uneventful, I slept off the effects of yesterday. Yesterday was not so much fun. Got to Chicago, having driven all night greeted by the news that this was to be the hottest week of the year. Moved all my stuff back in. Put in my air conditioner, making two of my fingers resemble grated cheese in the process by inadvertently grabbing the back of the AC. Discovered my toliet was leaking every time I flushed it and had to get Andy, the scary yelling Polish man up here to fix it, then had to wait around for him to return with the parts. Oreo has decided that he doesn't want to walk anymore and just lies on the grass when he's decided he's done enough, but is fine when we return to the apartment. Oh, what fun. Oh, and because I suck, I had to duct tape all around the air conditioner - I guess it's TROI safe now...
Also, have been treated to numerous broadcasts of Ozzy's rendition of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" at a recent Cubs game.